For years, it was all I could do to blend in. It's all I wanted. I could have worn a sign that said "Please, just look away."
Of course, I knew better. I wouldn't change the world unless I took part in it, etcetera, etcetera. But try not smoking after 30+ years. For most people to quit, it would take losing a lung.
Cue the lung collapse. I'm nearing my 32nd birthday and only for the past year have I really known what it was like to not blend in . It's because I purposefully put myself out there now, and I make sure I can't hide. At the risk of looking like an idiot, a bitch, or --eee-gad--imperfect, I'm going to try to connect. With you, with neighbors, and with total strangers. I'm tired of talking to myself. If I'm here, it's going to count.
The truly wise know they know nothing, right? So if I admit my main drawback to putting myself on any kind of front line is that I don't know how to shoot, it wouldn't be a good argument. It's kind of something you have to do if you want to master it. So I'm shooting.
There is a star in everyone, and a damn good memoir in everyone, no matter how anonymous they seem. I can't tell you how priceless it would have been to be told that what I had to say was worth hearing. Because it is. It's so for all of us. My goal is to reach people with a story to tell, let them tell it, and learn something--anything--that will motivate us all to do our thing.
So, a major move is coming, and I'm not BSing. I'm terrified, I'm already exhausted, and I have a million reasons why I shouldn't try it right now. That's why I have to do it. By fall, some things about Arissa Writes. will be different. It will continue to be a look inward, but only as an extension of my main site, which will be a decidedly outward-bound project.
One thing I've learned from all this public nudity: once it's been said, it must be done. So I said it.
Why do I write? Because it's all I know how to do. Why do you read? Whatever your reason for clicking on my mug...